So, it has been 4 years. Within that time, a lot of things have happened. I think I can fit all that in the first paragraph. I graduated from college with a really good GPA, I got a job at a medical advertising place(if you can call it that) doing graphic design work, got laid off because of that thing they called COVID, was unemployed for a while, got a job now at a local TV station, and that’s about it(kind of). In between that just sprinkle in days and nights of sadness, loss of loved ones, depression(I guess), going to therapy, being dumped by my therapist(that’s a whole-nother story), and also moments of pure joy. Mix that all together and you’d get a normal person trying to survive and be happy in this world. In between that time, I picked up on a new/old hobby, which is film photography.
Instagram turned from a platform to showcase your work, just for fun, to creative prostitution. Prostitution isn’t the right word but that how I feel inside(insert Dave Chappelle voice). I’m selling myself to a platform that only rewards you for…God knows what, posting more? Instagram has turned to one of my most hated platforms. I don’t enjoy getting on anymore because it’s just not fun. Also, I was getting to a point where I hated picking up a camera until one day, I got the bright idea of buying a point and shoot camera.
I walked into a camera store up the street from my apartment and bought me a point and shoot camera. Now that I think about it, the last time I made a post I think I was still living at my parent’s house, crazy how life works itself out.
The camera was called the NIKON AF 35mm-70mm or that’s what it said on the front. I looked up this camera and no one on earth seemed to know what it was. This camera lens starts off at 35mm but there’s a button where it extends and you can use the 70mm lens. It was also a range finder camera meaning you don’t look through the lens. That’s the best I can explain rangefinder because I still honestly cant explain it. After using this camera, I might look into buying me either a digital or film rangefinder camera.
This was the best camera I’ve ever used, not because the lens was the sharpest but because of how it made me feel. On this journey, sometimes the most expensive stuff isn’t the greatest. How a creative tool makes you feel is more important. I took that camera damn near everywhere with me. It was the camera that made me want to go out and just take photos every day. At first, I thought this was a cool camera to have and take pictures of things and people I loved but what I didn’t know was it was teaching me more about photography than any other camera I had before. Slowly but surely, this old Nikon camera sparked something in me and motivated me to keep going and not give up on my creative journey.
Like what it’s built for, this was a point and shoot. It’s in the name, point and shoot and photo, done. With film photography you have to manually put in each setting in the hopes of getting a good photo but with this camera I didn’t have to worry about that. It gave my mind the freedom to just live in the moment and capture it. If I saw something I liked, I just took the shot and hopefully the camera did the rest. As crazy as it sounds, I was learning more about what I wanted to take photos of and what interested me the most. More importantly than that I was learning composition and learned that I loved hard lighting.
I am now working on a project where I document the city of Atlanta in the summer. Atlanta light is so beautiful, it’s this golden color mixed with hard organic looking shadows because of the trees casting beautiful shapes on homes and people. Throughout this new journey, this simple point and shoot camera made me realize that I like hard light on my subjects. Nowadays in cinematography everyone wants soft shadows, soft light, but the world isn’t like that.
Let me say this to clear up my last statement, the world that I see isn’t like that. It made me realize why I love the work of cinematographer Conrad Hall. His work looked so organic and true to life. Watch the movie Road to Perdition where he was the Director of Photography and was directed by the great Sam Mendes who directed the movie 1917(which was amazing).
By the way, throughout this four year journey we’ve been apart, I’ve decided I want to be a cinematographer. Hopefully one day I can see that goal turn into reality but I’m not going to rush anything. I’ve shot about three or four documentaries since 2017 and love being behind the camera which is way being laid off of my graphic design job might’ve been a blessing. I think photography can help me figure out how I want to light my subjects and compose them. If it worked for Stanley Kubrick it can work for me.
Anyway, I say all of that to say this, the Nikon AF 35mm-70mm point and shoot camera saved my life or my photography at least. I found my new purpose/subjects. If you’re ever in a creative rut like I was, try to not try so hard. Thinking about what I just wrote would piss me off if I read that but let me try to give some examples. If you’re a painter who doesn’t want to paint, try drawing circles everyday instead. If you’re a sculptor who can’t come up with a sculpture, try rolling clay in your hands and putting it away until the next day. If you’re a musician who doesn’t feel like playing music or can’t come up with any compositions, try playing your scales.
Once you hit a wall sometimes it’s good to go back to the basics. In the book The War on Art, it teaches you that the muse will grant you what you ask for as long as you keep doing what you love to do but sometimes the muse needs to be refreshed in order to remember why you started this journey in the first place.
Playing those scales could lead you to sound that triggers something that helps you make that next song or composition. The way you rolled that clay could help you see a form you would’ve never seen and help you create your next sculpture. Those circles you drew can help free your mind and help guide your hand to paint in different ways you would’ve never thought about. And maybe that little point and shoot camera could help you see the world a little different, inspiring you to look at your world another way.
Buying that camera was the best decision I ever made. Even though it has its flaws and it doesn’t work anymore because like most electronic film cameras it wasn’t built to last long. It unlocked a creative part of me that I needed unlocked and inspired me to keep creating even in the darkest times. Sometimes you need to go back to the basics in order to rediscover why you wanted to be creative in the first place or to start from scratch and find a new creative purpose.
That’s all I wanted to say.
See you later.
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